Still pregnant

*39 weeks, 1 day* - 6 days til our due date......

So yep. I'm still pregnant. Doctor's visit on Monday was uneventful. I wasn't expecting much, so I guess I was prepared for what I heard. He checked my cervix for the first time. He told me my cervix is closed and said I'm "doing great". Not sure *great* is the word I would use, but okay. I didn't even think to ask whether I was effaced at all, or how long he would let me go past my due date before inducing...

My BP and baby's heart rate are still perfect. I actually gained 2.5 pounds this week, after not having gained any weight in three weeks. Weird, right? It's not like I've eaten any differently this week... I am happy that me and baby continue to be healthy. I feel like crap, but for what it's worth, I am glad that my body is not giving up on us. I'd rather be induced for going late than for my or the baby's health being compromised.

Sleep is a struggle. I'm so uncomfortable in the evenings, and it's very hard to get comfortable in bed. I can't flip from one side to the other very easily, yet I need to switch sides frequently. I get up 3-4 times a night to pee, and I'm surprised I haven't wiped out yet. I stumble to the bathroom every night without turning the light on, and usually have to manuever over a cat or two and all their toys...

Motiviation is also an issue. Because I'm not sleeping well, it's really hard to get going in the morning. Part of it too is that going to work feels like such a waste of time at this point. I have so little to do that I dread going. I had originally planned to start my leave this coming Monday, but I'd *hate* to start leave without a little man to enjoy it with... What if he doesn't come for two more weeks, and then I've "wasted" two weeks of leave?? (Bear in mine, my "leave" is comprised of vacation, personal, and sick time I've saved over the last two years, since I was denied for short- and long-term disability coverage.)

Soon enough, I know. I KNOW he'll be here sooner than later. I've made it this far - it's felt like a freaking eternity and in the grand scheme of things, these last few days are like seconds! But the anticipation is KILLING me!!!

I just so want to meet this amazing little miracle boy that we fought so hard for. It's amazing to feel such love and adoration for someone you've never met, and I just know that we will be overcome with emotion when he's finally here. I used to daydream about the day I'd get engaged, the day I'd get married, and the day I'd learn I was pregnant. Now I daydream about the moment I lay my eyes on my son.... The thought gives me chills, and it will be real in mere days! (BUT WHEN?!?!?!?)