It's hard to believe Noah's already over two weeks old. These last few weeks have been such a blur. The hours and the days run together, and I don't know up from down, but we're trying to enjoy every second of it. I'm not going to lie - it's hard when Noah gets so upset because we don't get him food fast enough or when he won't settle down to fall back asleep after his midnight feeding, but we're learning to cope with it and survive on little sleep.
In general, things are going well. One thing that has been tough has been breastfeeding (BF). Things just didn't start off the way I had hoped, and I think it's been sort of downhill ever since.
Of course, I had imagined having him naturally, and trying to BF him immediately after he was delivered. Well - the c-section got in the way of that. I had read that as long as c-section babies are put to the breast within an hour or two after birth, they'll latch right on. Well - Noah didn't really have a good suck-swallow-breathe pattern initially, so they gave him a bottle of formula. Unfortunately, I was so out of it from the surgery and residual pain, that I wasn't as pro-active as I normally would have been, insisting on BFing and requesting the help of a lactation consultant more quickly.
Then Noah got so sick with the Jaundice, and they put the fear of god in us, saying he could only be out of the Bilibed for 15 minutes at a time. That made BFing damn near impossible, because even a bottle feeding and a diaper change alone took more than 15 minutes. In retrospect, I think I'm glad we stuck to keeping him in the Bilibed as much as we did, as opposed to pushing for more time out for him to BF, because it worked. He got well, was able to come home with us, and has continued to improve. If if the end BFing is sacrificed for his good health, then I'm fine with that.
Once we came home, I tried to exclusively BF, but after having had bottles of formula (mixed with pumped breast milk) in the hospital for nearly a week, Noah wasn't getting enough milk fast enough. He would become so frustrated and impatient waiting for the milk to let down, and once it did, he would get lazy, stop sucking, and fall asleep. We met with a lactation consultant a few days after we were discharged, who gave us some pointers on keeping him interested. It seemed like he was latching well, but was still just very lazy, so we continued to supplement with pumped milk.
I had to take a few days off BFing all together because I developed cracks and blisters (sorry TMI!), and the pain of trying to feed Noah was excruciating. I know he sensed my agony, because he would become agitated. I pumped exclusively for a few days, and we saw a lactation consultant again this past Monday. She gave me some pointers on caring for the cracks and blisters, and suggested I use a nipple shield and continue pumping to supplement.
Noah still gets frustrated and lazy when I try to BF, which is frustrating for me because I know he is the way he is because we weren't able to start things off the way I wanted. I know even just the pumped milk is better than nothing, but in a way I feel like I'm letting everyone down, including myself. BFing is *SO* much harder than I ever imagined it would be. Even after taking a class and reading up on it, things happen that are out of your control, and I realize that, but I really wanted it to work, and now I'm not so sure I have it in me.
On the upswing, Noah is gaining weight, so we know he's getting enough food! He's up to 8lbs, 12oz and 21.5in! His head size is in the 95th percentile - he's definitely got his daddy's noggin! We saw the pediatrician again yesterday. He wrote us orders for an ultrasound of Noah's hips because he was breech. I mentioned to the doctor that Noah likes to keep his head tipped to one side, and the doctor said he thinks it's torticolis, and suggested we have Noah evaluated by a physical therapist and also get an x-ray of his neck. Poor baby Noah. Like daddy said, how can you be so healthy and have so many problems?? (I think it's just because he's my son...)