Tuesday, December 15, 2009

what can i say? i'm a crier.

for sure. i'm not feeling especially emotional about anything in particular, but recently - dang! i need to stop reading sad stories and drowning my non-existance sorrows!

last night i was reading the blog of the wife of a guy i went to high school with (i'm a facebook stalker) - and i learned that she miscarried at 37 weeks. oh my god. she just stopped feeling the baby moving, they couldn't find a heart beat, and that was it. c-section delivery of a still-born, full-term baby. i was sobbing reading the blog and looking the photos of the couple with the baby girl they would never know. ugh.

tonight, reading the blog of the mom of a girl who suffered a brain injury in a car accident, and just recently came out of a coma. (this girl is a HS friend of my co-worker.) amazing to read about her progress, but so sad, because she was to be married this past saturday...

just read about the newest baby duggar, born last thursday, at 1 lb, 6oz. breaks my heart, because that baby is bound to have some serious developmental problems, and i've long felt the duggars were pressing their luck with so many kids and continuing to have kids into her 40s, when the odds of complications go up.

noah had surgery last friday - it went so well, and he has been amazing. the doctor said the cyst was larger than he'd anticipated but that it was most certainly benign (though it was still sent for testing). i don't miss the nub the way i thought i would - thinking about it makes me a little sad, but tonight at dinner, noah reached for it, and it did hurt my heart. i leaned toward him and he threw his arms around my neck, and i told him that i loved him with or without the nub, and that i knew he would have been a strong enough, confident enough boy to live with it, but that it would hurt mommy if kids said mean things because he looked a little different. i told him that someday he would understand.

i get emotional about commercials and tv shows (like - ones i probably shouldn't cry at). i get emotional about other peoples struggles and pain - if one more friend has to go through dealing with fertility issues, i'm going to go crazy on somebody. who? totally not sure, but seriously? WTF. and then a coworker (who's a lesbian) told me she and her GF of forever wanted to do international adoption, but basically no one will adopt to a same sex couple anymore. what the hell is the world coming to?

vent over. :) happy holidays!!!

(it's late and i'm over worked and sleep deprived of late... at least that's my excuse.)