Tuesday, November 15, 2011

36 weeks

the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter! ultrasound last night confirmed baby girl is head down and raring to go. holy cow, this is going to happen, and it's gonna happen soon! i think i've been have contractions on and off for the past week. she's moving like mad, and pushing down hard on my hooha, and while she's measuring a little small (just under 6lbs or 34ish weeks, per the ultrasound), she's fiesty as hell, and i know we're in for it.

as these final weeks play out, i'm experiencing so many emotions. i have to stop sometimes, and take it all in. the movement, however uncomfortable it is becoming at , noah, and the size of my growing belly... i may never experience these feelings again in my life so i have to remember to enjoy these final moments of pregnancy. on the other hand, i'm ready to be done being pregnant so that we can finally meet this little girl, see her face, and love on her.

the other night, noah was talking to my belly and it made me cry. he said "i love you baby. i love you baby sister. you're so precious." he is so in love with the idea of her. i don't know if he fully understands the reality of how life is going to change, but he loves babies and is so sweet with them.

i am almost more emotional thinking about him meeting her than US meeting her. i think part of it is because it will be seeing our family finally become whole, but also because of the lengths we went to with the intent of making noah a big brother. i wanted a baby for myself, true, but moreso, i wanted noah to have a sibling and if this IVF cycle wouldn't have worked, we wouldn't have stopped there. it might have cost us tens of thousands of dollars, but we would have found a way to give noah a sibling.

not a day goes by that i'm not amazed by and grateful for the life growing inside me. i will always be a proud IVF mama, and i'm so grateful to the doctors who worked their magic and for the infertility community who have been my support system for the past five years.

as it comes quickly to it's end, i'll never forget the journey i've been on. it has been the hardest and best of my life. parenting is more challenging and stressful than i ever imagined, but the joy of my amazing noah is more rewarding than words can describe. and baby girl. my beautiful princess, who is destined to be a tomboy, simply because i'm desparate for her to wear dresses and be a girly girl! i am so in love with the idea of her, and i know the moment i lay eyes on her, my life will be forever changed. little girl, i adore you. i think you know that already. :)