resolutions

so i'm not one to make new years resolutions, but i definitely have goals for the year. i would love to eat healthier and live happier, reduce clutter in my home, and of course, have another baby. one other thing i'd really like to do is to try to blog on a more regular basis, not so much because i think anyone reads it, but moreso for my own peace and clarity. i feel like it was such a good outlet for me when i was pregnant, and when i was trying to get pregnant with noah, i utilized my IVF message boards for the same purpose.

so that said...

noah had speech today for the first time since getting tubes last week. he is continuing to make hugs strides with his speech. the things that he comes up with sometimes almost brings tears to my eyes because i'm just so in awe of how cool he is.

work today was uneventful, thankfully. january is historically the busiest month of the year for us, so i mostly spent the day tying up loose ends, closing cases, and getting mtgs scheduled.

i did come to the realization today when i was driving to work that i need to start my IVF process. i feel like obviously it's something i want to do, but for fear of failure, i keep putting it off. i guess in the back of my mind i think i won't have to deal with the possibility of failure if i just do go through the process. but of course, in putting off the possibility of failure, i'm also putting off the possibility of success, and with that, the dream of noah being a big brother. so i talked to my fellow IVFer at work about my thought process, and of course, she supported me in my maddening volley of logic, and encouraged me to at least call and make an appointment.

so i came home tonight, loved on noah, and chatted with ben about where my brain is at. i think we came to the resolution that if i am ready, we should do it, and agree that if it doesn't work this time, then we will look at the out-of-pocket IVF options and find the money to go again... so i guess my next step is to call the RE and make and appt to get the ball rolling once again...

with all of these thoughts also comes the possibility of an arizona trip for spring training in march!!! the thought of AZ in the spring thrills me!! dear friends, warm weather, cubs games, in-n-out burgers!!! ah, the joys are endless!

and soon after that begins the rash of babies again, as i have SEVERAL friends (mostly, or possibly exclusively, ex-CFC girls) who are pregnant and due this spring and summer. :) i am clawing to get on that wagon. stay tuned!