a big scare

*12 weeks, 6 days*

So let's recap the last few weeks of this pregnancy. I told my closest girlfriends I was pregnant right around 8 weeks, and my coworkers right around 9 weeks, and then went Facebook official. Around 10 weeks, my pants started fitting tight, and people started noticing in the last few weeks that my belly was becoming a BELLY.

On Tuesday May 24th, I had my first OB appt with Dr Carroll. We talked for a long time, probably close to an hour. (The joys of being the last appt of the day!) We talked a lot about VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), and I expressed my desire to make a VBAC the goal. My only condition with doing a VBAC is that I don't want to go past 39 weeks, since with a VBAC I can't be induced. If nothing's happening by 39 weeks, then c-section it is. No going til 41 weeks for me. And to that, I also requested we do a last u/s to confirm baby is head down, so I don't go along thinking VBAC when the baby is breech...

Anyway, fast foward to last night. Aside from the exhaustion and constipation, I'm feeling great. Starting to make the switch to maternity clothes. No vomiting, and nausea only a total of 3 or 4 times. No food or smell sensitivity, etc. Had a pretty average work day, ran some errands for a friend's baby shower after work, and got home just before 8:00.

I came in and sat down with Ben & Noah, who was eating dinner, for a few minutes, then got up to pee. And then I felt the all to familiar woosh that women feel at "that time of the month". But it's not "that time of the freaking month", i'm almost 13 weeks pregnant! But lo and behold, I pull down my pants and about fall over. Before I can pull up my pants (or pee for that matter), I stumble out of the bathroom, tell Ben I'm bleeding and we have to go to the hospital, and call my mom to say "I'm bleeding, need to go to the ER, come watch Noah". I was trembling. Poor Noah was upset and confused and asked why mommy was crying. I said something about how I was okay (don't mind the shaking and inability to stand), and within a minute it seemed my mom was here. I kissed Noah's head, and we drove the mile and a half to the hospital.

The ER visit went like this. Wait anxiously in the waiting room, in a wheelchair because I'm not sure I can walk. Try not to cry or freak out because it feels like it's taking FOR-FUCKING-EVER for them to take me in. Nurse takes me to triage, gets my vitals, asks a few questions. Phlebotomist, who according to Ben had a tic, comes in to draw what felt like a gallon of blood, and then wheels me back to a room. Nurse comes in, gives me a once over, checks my vitals again, and says she's going to start an IV and find the baby's HB on the doppler. I tell her I have to pee (remember, I got up to pee and didn't when this all started), so I do, and there's lots of blood. It was scary. Back to the room, get the IV (in my elbow, which I hate IVs there, though they are less painful to get), and the dumbass nurse tries to find the HB near my belly button, thinks she finds it and it's 104 which "is normal this early in pregnancy". Um, it's normal if I'm like 6 weeks, not 13. Anyways, we don't put much stock in this nurse.

So introducing Dr Douchebag. From the moment he walked in, we know he was a tool. Ben later said he was living out his "ER" (the TV show) fantasy at CDH. Dr D said he was more concerned about me than my baby at the moment (not quite those words, but close), and would do a pelvic exam and u/s. Great, a pelvic exam but an ER doc. Dream come true. No stirrups, no paper blanket to cover my girl parts, just the doctor, the nurse, and the tools. But he said my cervix looked normal and the exam was normal. He said that miscarriage is common in the first trimester (REALLY? NO SHIT.) and told us the u/s department was very busy and was running behind, so we might be waiting awhile. I'd been thinking the M word but it was the first time some one said it aloud. Bastard.

A half hour later the u/s tech comes to wheel me to the imagining area. She was a lovely lady. She told us that she couldn't tell us anything about the scan, and that the doctor would read it and let us know. This made me anxious. Shortly after she started the abdominal u/s, she said she did see the heartbeat and the baby was moving like crazy. That made me feel a million times better. Between the abdominal and vaginal ultrasounds, we were probably in there for 30 minutes.

After the u/s, a different nurse came back in to check my vitals and try again with the doppler. She seemed to catch it for a few beats, but we didn't mind. The u/s lady told us it was there.

A bit later and after supposedly talking to my OB, Dr Douche popped his head in and basically said - the u/s looks normal, so we're gonna send you home now, and well, you know the drill. I was like, HUH? What drill? I've never experienced bleeding during pregnancy so, no, I certainly do not know the drill.

He said to call the OBs office in the morning to follow up, and that there was no specific cause for the bleeding. He reminded us that miscarriage generally occurs in the first trimester, and they sent us packing with discharge paperwork that listed information about "threatened miscarriage". Great.

So needless to say, I slept very little last night for fear of increased bleeding, cramps, contractions, etc. I had already texted my boss late last night and gotten coworkers to cover today's mtgs so that was taken care of. Ben and I both stayed home with the intention of getting some sleep but I was up at 8:00 because sleeping was not working for me.

I called the OBs office shortly after 8:00 and got the answering service. Called shortly after 8:30, and got the receptionist, who said they normally don't bring people in for vaginal bleeding. (WHAT? Hello, did I fail to mention I'm 13 weeks pregnant?) I insisted, saying I had unanswered questions because the ER doc was a douche, er, didn't give us much information. Receptionist said the nurse would be in at 9:30 and she'd leave her a msg to call me.

9:30, 10:30, 11:00 rolls around, and she hasn't called. So I call. Sorry Alicia, I'm not sitting here, bleeding, waiting for your call. I explained to her that we did not have a great ER experience. The doctor gave us very little information, and I want to see the doctor to get questions answered and find out the cause of the bleeding. She puts me on hold. She took a look at my u/s and baby looks good. She's going to talk to the doctor and call me back, but tells me she's holding a 4:00 appt for me. Okay, good.

Ben takes Noah, who also didn't seem to sleep well last night, outside, while I try to snooze on the couch. At 1:30, my phone rings, and it's Alicia. She said they took a closer look at u/s, and it appears that I have a low lying placenta. "Is this the cause of the bleeding?" I ask. "Yes", she says. "Is there reason to be concerned, will it resolve, I think I had that with Noah, what do we do now", I state.

Basically, my placenta is attached too close to my cervix. She said that as the baby grows and the pregnancy progresses, the baby will pull the placenta up, thus moving it out of the "low lying" position. I read that 90% of low lying placentas will resolve in this manner. The remaining 10%? She says if it doesn't move as pregnancy progresses, I would not be able to delivery vaginally.

Okay, after this bleeding scare, to hell with VBAC. I want this baby full term and healthy, and that is all that matter.

So what now? I have a diagnosis and reason for the bleeding (sidenote: bleeding seems to be subsiding), and now my orders are to "chill" this weekend. (Her words.) No heavy lifting, no housework, no sex, etc. So Noah and I will have a baby sitter tomorrow so Ben can go back to work, and I will stay home on Monday until I see Dr Carroll and get the all clear to go back to work. I have an appt on at 5:30pm on Monday because it's all they had, though I asked to be on a cancellation list, if possible, to come in sooner. I also asked about the baby's heart rate on the u/s. She told me it was 158. Perfect.

So for now, I'm laying low (like my placenta), and being waited on. Poor Noah is napping now. My mom said he was very nervous after our abrupt departure last night, and was asking where we went, and then couldn't fall asleep until they snuggled up in our bed. Poor kid.