The luckiest.

It just came to my attention that it's National Infertility Awareness Week. Happy NIA week...? Sort of an oxymoron, but whatever.

Today I had an intake meeting for a newborn with down syndrome. After three years of trying and five IVF cycles, they get a child with down syndrome, heart defects, and an assortment of other issues. Something about their situation just really struck a cord with me. I've worked with other families who've discussed their IVF experiences - and I generally share mine with them when it comes up - but none have had children with such extensive special needs.

My heart broke for them. They tried so hard for so long. One woman had three unsuccessful cycles, and the other woman had one unsucessful cycle and one successful. If you can call it that...

I left the meeting feeling glad that the mom seemed to be coping well. It sounded like they have a really great support system. I also left the meeting wanting to hug my little boy. We've had our own "issues" to deal with, but today's meeting put things in perspective for me.

I always feel kid of bad acting like my situation is special or more important than other peoples, but there is sort of a sense of entitlement from having gone through infertility treatment. We feel like our bodies have failed us, but if medicine can make things happen, then so be it. But what happens when medicine fails too? Life isn't fair, sure, but that is REALLY not fair. Plus, to top it off, people are cruel, so you can imagine what people might say about a lesbian couple with a son with down syndrome...

Am I making sense?... SIGH.

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I cuddled Noah extra special tonight. His skin and hair are so soft, and he smells so good. I love feeling the warmth of his body and hearing his breath (and the snot in his nose). I adore his smile, and the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. SIGH. I have to be the luckiest mommy in the world. No, I AM the luckiest mommy in the world.