Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Reflections on 2008

*Noah is 11 weeks old today!*

It's been such a busy last few weeks, and I definitely want to blog about Christmas and my birthday, but today, on the last day of 2008, I'm feeling very reflective.

A year ago today, I was in a pretty okay place. I remember not feeling so hot, and not really wanting to go to Amy & Mike's, but in the end we did and had a great time. We had just returned a few weeks earlier from the Dominican Republic, and we were definitely refreshed. I remember feeling calm and peaceful upon our return, and I remember hoping that was a sign of things to come.

I don't make new years resolutions, but last year I resolved to finally get pregnant, and within a month of making the resolution, I had succeeded!

2008 was FULL of joy, almost from start to finish. I had doubts that my IVF cycle would work and actually considered scrapping it after only one egg fertilized... thankfully, we did not do that, because the resulting embryo became baby Noah!

Sadly this year, we did lose Ben's grandfather, and of course it was hard, but with all deaths, it is important to celebrate the person's life. A good friend's mother also lost her battle with cancer earlier this year, and I just found out that a coworker's father-in-law just passed away.

This year, I've also watched friends struggle to become pregnant. A few have succeeded, while others have started down the path that Ben and I took. All I can do is be a supportive and good friend, but I know how much pain they are in, and words really cannot help that.

I've often thought years have been the "greatest of my life", most recently the years I graduated college and got engaged (2002) and got married (2003). But 2008 takes the cake thus far. After two long years, I finally became pregnant and gave birth to the most amazing human being. I look at him daily and am so thankful for him. I try to remember the pain of the journey and acknowlege that it was worth it in the end. I could have been pregnant when we started trying almost three years ago now, but that baby wouldn't be THIS baby. When my first round of IVF failed, I was devestated, but again - had it suceeded, that baby would not be Noah. I'm not a religious person, but I really think everything happens for a reason. It was not meant to be until now, and now that I have Noah here, it seals the deal!

2008 was the greatest year of my life, but now that Noah's here and part of our family, I know each year from now until the day I die will be even greater because I'll be able to watch him grow and change. While part of me doesn't want my baby to grow up, part of me is also SO excited to watch him change and find out what kind of little man he will become. I think of little things, short term things like rolling, sitting, crawling, and the thought of this little person, initially so helpless, becoming independent both excites and terrifies me!

We are so in love with Noah that it hurts. I'm so amazed at what love, medical technology, and my body created, it's almost unbelievable. I look at him and laugh because he really sums it all up for me. That probably doesn't make sense to you, but to me - I guess I just feel like I won the lottery. I have an awesome husband, an incredible little boy, great friends, and supportive family who loves us like crazy. 2008 was great, and I am the luckiest girl in the world!


Kelly said...

I'm so glad things have worked out the way the should for you! I absolutely agree that for some reason things always work out the way they are meant to! Hoping 2009 is yet another amazing year for you! :)

*mar* said...

Aw...Melinda I'm so happy for you guys. Funny how everybody reflects on the past year differently, isn't it? :)