Happy 6 months Noah Taylor!!

I can't believe my little man is already six months old. It is mind-boggling that half a year has gone by since he was born! It's been an eventful six months, and I am so grateful to have survived it! Noah is the best little boy. Such an easy boy and a real trooper when it comes to the not-so-fun stuff in life, like doctors and teeth. Yes! I said teeth! The first one popped through three days ago on Easter and the second one popped yesterday! His sleep and naps have been a little screwy because of it, but he's still his typical, happy self.

We've tried almost all the stage one veggies - peas, carrots, squash, and sweet potatoes. I still have green beans in the pantry, but in honor of his 6mo birthday today, we skipped the beans, and opted for bananas! He loved it! He is such a piggie. He doesn't turn away anything, even those nasty cereals - rice, oatmeal, mixed grains. He eats them all!

It's kind of fun to look back and see how he has changed each month. Time has really flown right by...

Randomness

I've been thinking about posting for about a week, but everytime I think of it, I'm either too tired or totally go blank on what I was going to write about... I've got a little of both going on right now, but let me try and do a Noah update (in absolutely no particular order):

*We have been feeding him cereal for about a month and a half, and he's doing great. We've done rice, oatmeal, and mixed grain cereal. Just yesterday we introduced his first veggies, peas - not my favorite - but he seems to enjoy them.

*He is rolling over inconsistently. I think I've only seen him go back to tummy once, but he has definitely found his feet, and I see more movement in our future.

*We met with the neurosurgeon at Children's last week, and he said everything's just fine. He said that Noah will probably grow into his head between 9 and 12mo. He'll never be ON the growth chart, but he'll make his own nice little curve parallel to it...

*The day we went to Children's was insane. They were TWO HOURS behind, so it turned into a loooooooooong day, but poor Noah was a trooper. We got home that night, he ate, and went to bed at 7pm and didn't wake until morning. Usually he would go to bed between 9 and 10, but I've been reading that he should be going down between 6 and 8. We've upped his bottles to 7 and 5oz each (depending on if he gets it with cereal), and now he only gets four bottles a day (and solids twice a day). He's gone to bed before 8:00 and slept the entire night for four nights in a row now. Fingers crossed it sticks...

*TMI alert: I am weaning from the pump. I've been pumping 4x/week since I went back to work in late-January. My goal was to make it to 6 months, and I think I will. It's been a slow process, but I now pump 3x/day and have dropped about 8oz. I have about two months worth frozen, so hopefully I can draw it out a bit and give Noah breastmilk until he's 9 months old.

*Noah loves to talk and laugh. He's a screamer too! Sometimes he'll just be laying there (usually on the changing table), and he'll screech! There have been times that it's definitely scared the crap out of me!

*He's in size three diapers now and has been since we went to Arizona. He's starting to bust out of his 6mo clothes, and I had to order a few pair of 9mo pants because most of his 6mo ones are too tight in the belly.

*Speaking of - he weighed in at 19lb, 3oz last week at Children's!!!

I'll post more pictures soon. He's getting so big! It's truly amazing how quickly babies change. He's such an awesome kid. We are the luckiest people in the world!!

Coming soon in the month of April:
*Julie and I are going to Champaign this weekend to see New Kids on the Block at Assembly Hall!!!
*Easter with the fam - just wait until you see Noah's Easter outfit!
*Katie GRADUATES!!!!!
*Alma softball at Wheaton College - represent.

a striking resemblance...

I just recently noticed the amazing resemblance of 3D ultrasound Noah to newborn baby Noah...

Life, of late

Again with my lack of updates!! My sincerest apologies - life has been so hectic, but I feel like we finally have somewhat of a normal routine.

Noah will be five months old tomorrow, and he is the easiest, most portable kid. His body clock is my best friend, because he's so easy to read. He eats every three hours like clockwork and is usually asleep within two hours of waking (thank you Dr. Weissbluth!). He's been eating cereal for over a month. It was slow going at first, but we recently figured out that feeding him cereal after a slightly smaller bottle makes all the difference! Now he's gobbling it up, save for when he's too sleepy (like this morning). We started the oatmeal cereal a few days ago, and he really seems to like it. He started imitating me by opening big and screeching "AHH!"

Our trip to Arizona was fantastic. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, as was the newest love in our lives, baby Laine. We are so happy for Amanda, Robert, & Isaac, who, by the way, is Noah's new best friend. Noah would light up and laugh hystericallly for Isaac! Noah enjoyed playing on Laine's pink playmat - his favorite toy here at home too (his isn't pink though...) He "enjoyed" two Cubs games, including one where they beat the Sox 13-0!! He was very overwhelmed by the experience, to say the least. The Cubs/Sox game was a very exciting game - lots of hits, including a grand slam - so when people would get loud and cheer, he would dissolve into a full on cry. His eyes would crunch, and he'd do the whole "eh, eh, eh, eh, EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" I just kept clapping and whispering "yay" in his ear when good things happened, since that's how we applaud him at home. The second game was not as exciting (the Cubs lost, and the average age of the crowd was probably about 30 years older than the previous game), so he did much better. He even got a souvenir! He got a "Spring Training 2009" baseball cap, that's child size, but fits his huge noggin!

Speaking of his nog, at his four month appointment, Noah's head was in the 99th percentile, and had grown over an inch in one month. The percent and growth were a little disconcerting to me, so I asked the pediatrician if we should be concerned. He said probably not, especially if big heads run in the family (they do), but said he wanted to consult with a neurosurgeon from Children's to be safe. The neuro suggested a cranial ultrasound through his soft spot to check for extra fluid. Turns out, little man does have some extra fluid outside of his brain, but the ped said he's not concerned. The neuro, however, wants to see Noah for a consultation. I think they're just being cautious, and I'm less worried now than I initially was, but I just feel bad for the poor kid getting toted from doctor to doctor, and getting test after test... We go back to Children's in two weeks for that appt, and we go back to the ped this Monday to get another measurement of his head. My biggest concern at this point is how his head size is impeding his development. I feel like his huge head is making it hard for him push up onto his arms and hands and to roll over. He does these things, but not as frequently as I think I'd like. Technically he's still getting PT once a month, but we're sort of on the fence if he really needs it... I guess it's sort of a crutch for me. Not that he really needs to be getting therapy for me to talk to his therapist about things.... :)

As for the hematology piece, he's doing great. We went to Children's this past Thursday for a follow up, and his hemoglobin is up to 10.5, which is great for him! The doc told us he'd see us back in 6 months! Yay! At that time, Noah will be almost a year, so they'll be able to do the testing to officially diagnose him with spherocytosis. The doc said that since I have such a mind case of it, Noah's will probably be mild as well. Thanks goodness! I'm anticipating no more transfusions in his future!!

I've been back to work now for a while. I'm starting to get back into the routine, but I can't seem to catch up. I think in a couple more months I'll feel a lot better, but right now I have good days and bad days. I feel like I might be hitting the wall... I've never felt as burned out as I do lately, and I don't feel like I'm doing my best, which is really hard for me, since I'm sort of a perfectionist. The thought of changing jobs terrifies me on so many levels. After doing something for five years, it's hard to imagine a change. But comfort is no reason to stay at a job... however, in this economy, job security is, so I'm kind of torn. I don't even know what I'd want to do if I made a change. Would I stay in the field or is it time to branch out? I wonder about it every day...

Time to jump through the shower before Noah wakes up. I'll post some new pics and videos soon!

My funny valentine

*Noah is four months old.*

Sorry for the long break in posting. Life is so super busy these days, and what little time I have for myself is usually spent cleaning or doing laundry. Or just vegging out in front of the TV (some things never change).

Noah continues to be an incredible little man. He turned four months yesterday and got his first taste of rice cereal. He was super cranky at first, but he was really hungry, so we started with the bottle and then did some spoonfuls of cereal. By the end, he was opening his mouth in anticipaiton of the spoon!



Noah also rolled over last night for the first time! He did it three times, tummy to back, and of course, no more, so I couldn't get a video. He was pushing up on his forearms and looking up at me, and I think the weight of his giant head just tipped him right over!

Saturday was Noah's first Valentine's day. It was pretty low key - mommy and Noah ran some errands during the day. In the evening, we stayed in and daddy made a steak dinner. Noah bought valentines for mommy and daddy, and got a bunch of his own from the fam.



I've been back to work for close to a month now, and it's been going well. My days are so busy, but they fly right by. I love getting home to Noah at the end of the day. I think the fact that Ben's parents are watching Noah has made the transition easier. I never really struggled with going back. I think part of me was ready to have "me time" again and get back to my old routine, but I've also never had to worry about who's watching him and if they're doing what I would want done. The beauty of family! We are so greatful for their help, and I know Noah loves spending his days with them.

I apologize for the lack of blogging, but my time is so precious these days! I feel like there is so much more to write about, but that's it for now. Gotta get ready for work!

Some new pictures!

I was just sitting on the couch with Noah one day, a few days before Christmas, and he starts shooting me these KILLER smiles. Thankfully the camera was sitting right next to me!


Noah went to see Santa at Stratford Square Mall. Not the cutest Santa I've ever seen, but we couldn't NOT take Noah to see Santa for his first Christmas!


Christmas morning, we had breakfast and did gifts with mom, Julie, & Scott at our house. Noah, of course, was spoiled!


Christmas afternoon was spent at Noah's great-grandma's house. Here he is with his great-grandma. Of course, his tongue's hanging out...


My new favorite picture of Noah! We were getting ready to head to my aunt and uncle's house for the holiday celebration with my mom's family, and Noah was hamming it up in his carseat! What a doll!

Reflections on 2008

*Noah is 11 weeks old today!*

It's been such a busy last few weeks, and I definitely want to blog about Christmas and my birthday, but today, on the last day of 2008, I'm feeling very reflective.

A year ago today, I was in a pretty okay place. I remember not feeling so hot, and not really wanting to go to Amy & Mike's, but in the end we did and had a great time. We had just returned a few weeks earlier from the Dominican Republic, and we were definitely refreshed. I remember feeling calm and peaceful upon our return, and I remember hoping that was a sign of things to come.

I don't make new years resolutions, but last year I resolved to finally get pregnant, and within a month of making the resolution, I had succeeded!

2008 was FULL of joy, almost from start to finish. I had doubts that my IVF cycle would work and actually considered scrapping it after only one egg fertilized... thankfully, we did not do that, because the resulting embryo became baby Noah!

Sadly this year, we did lose Ben's grandfather, and of course it was hard, but with all deaths, it is important to celebrate the person's life. A good friend's mother also lost her battle with cancer earlier this year, and I just found out that a coworker's father-in-law just passed away.

This year, I've also watched friends struggle to become pregnant. A few have succeeded, while others have started down the path that Ben and I took. All I can do is be a supportive and good friend, but I know how much pain they are in, and words really cannot help that.

I've often thought years have been the "greatest of my life", most recently the years I graduated college and got engaged (2002) and got married (2003). But 2008 takes the cake thus far. After two long years, I finally became pregnant and gave birth to the most amazing human being. I look at him daily and am so thankful for him. I try to remember the pain of the journey and acknowlege that it was worth it in the end. I could have been pregnant when we started trying almost three years ago now, but that baby wouldn't be THIS baby. When my first round of IVF failed, I was devestated, but again - had it suceeded, that baby would not be Noah. I'm not a religious person, but I really think everything happens for a reason. It was not meant to be until now, and now that I have Noah here, it seals the deal!

2008 was the greatest year of my life, but now that Noah's here and part of our family, I know each year from now until the day I die will be even greater because I'll be able to watch him grow and change. While part of me doesn't want my baby to grow up, part of me is also SO excited to watch him change and find out what kind of little man he will become. I think of little things, short term things like rolling, sitting, crawling, and the thought of this little person, initially so helpless, becoming independent both excites and terrifies me!

We are so in love with Noah that it hurts. I'm so amazed at what love, medical technology, and my body created, it's almost unbelievable. I look at him and laugh because he really sums it all up for me. That probably doesn't make sense to you, but to me - I guess I just feel like I won the lottery. I have an awesome husband, an incredible little boy, great friends, and supportive family who loves us like crazy. 2008 was great, and I am the luckiest girl in the world!

Sleep is nice!

*Noah is 9 weeks old!*

First of all, I was just revisiting the blog, and my belly picture from 38 weeks caught my eye. Oh my, I was HUGE!!! And I was still pregnant for three more weeks after that! I'm a *SO* thankful to have lost all my baby weight already. Yes, I said all. However, there are two types of weight - baby weight and IVF weight. I've lost the baby weight, but NOT the IVF drug weight. When I found out I was pregnant, I was at about 150, but when the whole IVF process started back in August 2007, I was just about 140. So at 148 now, I still technically have at least 8lbs to lose. I'd like to get to 135 - that's what I weighed when we went to Europe in the spring of 2006 before the whole trying to conceive thing started... Maybe I'll make a new year's resolution for once...

Anyways, SLEEP! It's becoming a common thing in our house, and I hope by typing this, I'm not jinxing it... I think we must have been jumping the gun with the middle of the night feeding. Noah would usually stir and make some grunting noises like he was waking up around 3am, and we would get up so Ben could feed him and I could pump. Well, since he started sleeping in the crib on Monday, he's been out cold until 6 or 7am! At first I thought maybe we were missing it - sleeping through a screaming spell or something, but I keep the monitor turned up so high you can hear the clock on the wall ticking in his room... If this keeps up, we will be *so* happy.

There are only a few glitches with the current sleep schedule. The main one is that we still can't get him down until between 9:30 and 10:30 (usually closer to 10:30). I think it's hard right now, for one, because I'm going out a lot during the day to run errands and do Christmas shopping, so he's napping a lot during the day. It's also hard because Ben doesn't get home from work until 6:30. Noah usually gets a bottle around 6 or 7, and we usually have dinner around 7 or 7:30, making it really hard to try to take the time to put him to bed after that bottle, so he usually goes to bed after the 9:00 bottle. I'm really hoping to make bedtime at least a bit earlier before I go back to work. As much as I'll want to be able to spend some time with him, I need to be able to get other things done too, like dishes, laundry, etc...

The other glitch, if you could call it that, with the sleep schedule is that I sleep through my pump session, making me incredibly uncomforable when I wake up in the morning. Usually Ben is able to feed Noah when he wakes up so I can go pump, but it makes me worried about my milk supply. Before 12 weeks, you're supposed to pump 8-12x a day with one being between 1 and 4am to get a good supply. By sleeping through that middle of the night pump, I could be killing my supply. It's good now, but I'm worried that it will drop around the 12 week mark... I'm up around 200oz of milk in the freezer, so at least that will keep us going for a little while after I go back to work. Like I think I said before, my first goal was to make it to 3mo with Noah getting breastmilk exclusively, and we're definitely going to make that goal. The next hurdle will be making it to 6mo. I'm feeling good about it for now, but like I said, we'll see what happens to my supply come 12 weeks.

Today, Noah went to see Santa Claus. Mommy & Daddy have been talking this guy up for weeks. Noah won't tell us what he asked Santa for - he's trying to make it hard on us. I mean, on Santa... I'll post pics soon!

Two months already!

Noah is two months old today, and at times, it feels like he's been here forever, and at other times, it feels like just yesterday I was looking at him for the first time. So much has happened in these two months, and he has changed immensely almost daily. The love we feel for him is truly indescribable...

Visiting Daddy at work - that's Zombie Noah (he just ate...)

Mommy and Crabby Noah
He had his two month check up today and got his first shots. He had three shots in all, plus the oral Rotavirus. He was *SUCH* a champ. He cried briefly - you would too if you saw the size of the needles! - but we got him dressed quickly and gave him a bottle as a reward when it was all done.

He's officially 13lbs, 8oz and 23.5 inches long. He is in the 78th percentile for weight, but better than that, his head is in the 98th percentile!! I'm surprised at his head control given the size of his ginormous melon! We are starting to transition to 3-6 month clothes, as we've noticed the 0-3 month onesies are either fitting tightly or not at all! Also, we finally ran out of size 1 diapers, so we decided to try the 2's, and they fit! Little by little, Noah's growing up!

Practicing tummy time on Daddy's chest
There are so many little things that I know won't last forever that I want to try to remember forever... Like how when he's really hungry, he raises his eyebrows with each such of the bottle for the first handful of sucks. Or how he kind of swings his feet when he's eating, like he's just hanging out... Or how his eyes smile sometimes before his mouth does. And oh my god, the faces! I need to take more videos of him I think, because I can never quite catch the faces in pictures. Sometimes he raises his lip like he's Elvis, and other times he crunches up his nose and/or forehead... The faces he makes when he's whining are pretty classic too!

Smiley Noah...

...and Grumpy Noah
He's loving sitting up like a big boy. We prop him up on the couch, either in the corner or surrounded by pillows. He looks around (and is entranced by the TV) and talks a lot when he's feeling it. He loves his changing table. That's where we can ALWAYS get a smile and a conversation. Those smiles will absolutely melt your heart!

Enjoying the changing table, as usual!
Tonight is a big night. Not only did Noah get his first round of shots today, we're going to give the crib a whirl... I really want to get on a better sleep schedule before I go back to work, so we're going to see if sleeping in the crib helps. He took a short nap in there earlier tonight, and after a big 6oz bottle and some awake time, he's back to sleep in there now... we'll see how long it lasts before he's hungry again...

Sleepy Noah

A way past-due update

*Noah is 7 weeks old (tomorrow).*

My friends!! (Yikes, now I'm sounding like John McCain...) Anyways, I'm so sorry I've been absent from the world of blogging for what must have seemed like an eternity. I've had good intentions and have thought frequently that I need to update, but you know how it goes... the kiddo needs to be fed, changed, rocked, etc...

Things are going really well with us. I can't believe my little man's already 7 weeks old! My god how time flies. I'll be back to work in six weeks (I think), and my time off is just flying by.

Noah has been doing great since his transfusion on the 14th. He's really a different kid. His color is better for starters, and he's got a lot more energy - staying awake more, cooing, smiling - okay, sometimes I wonder if they are just poo smiles, since I mainly get them on the changing table, but I'll take what I can get! He's getting huge too! We haven't had him weighed since the day of the transfusion, but we go back to the hematologist for a follow up on Thursday, so I'll be very interested to see what he weighs. I know for sure he was 10 pounds, 5 ounces butt-nekkid on the 12th, and I'm guess he's at least 12, if not 12.5 pounds by now.

He went through a crazy growth spurt the middle of last week. He was so fussy for two days straight, and he wanted to eat every 1.5 to 2 hours, and it was KILLING me!! We had our annual Turkey Hangover party on Friday (the day after Thanksgiving), and I had intentions of getting a ton of stuff done during the week leading up, but then we had to have this dang growth spurt. We survived it by finally deciding (thanks to the recommendation of Erin on the IVF message board) to increase his intake from 4oz per bottle to 4.5oz. That seemed to do the trick, and he was satisfied and back to normal by the end of the second day.

As for me, I'm still getting the hang of this "stay-at-home-mom" thing. It's freaking hard, and I have so much respect for my friends who do it! I still stand by my strong desire to want to be able to stay home with Noah (we can't do it financially), but I do desperately crave "me time". I love my two-hour trips to Target or lunches with the girls. Anything to get out of the house!! I am looking forward to seeing my work friends again and having regular adult interaction, but actually going back to work TO WORK... that's going to be tough!

I think I've finally broken myself of the guilt of not breastfeeding. I think the cards were stacked against us from the beginning, with Noah's jaundice and anemia (both of which made him so lethargic). It was so frustrating for both of us, and while part of me feels like maybe I could have given it one more shot, I refuse to stew on it now, because I am proud to now say that I am exclusively pumping. We haven't given Noah formula since November 6th, and he only got it then because I was having "supply" issues at the time. Now I'm way ahead of what he needs, and I've got close to 80oz of milk frozen for when I go back to work! Hopefully, I can keep up the very hard work that is pumping and therefore also keep my supply up. (I'm probably averaging 37oz per day, if you're interested.)

Noah was evaluated by a developmental and physical therapist through Early Intervention and will be receiving PT once a month to work on stretching and positioning for his neck. We've tried to be very aware of the position of his head and neck, and I definitely think it's getting better, but he definitely still needs the therapy, as he's favoring one side more than the other. Noah also had an ultrasound of his neck that revealed that the muscle in one side of his neck is thicker, probably causing the torticollis. The pediatrician ordered an x-ray of his neck just to be sure there's nothing else going on.

Hm. Did I cover everything? These past 7 weeks have been such a whirlwind, and I try to pause everyday, even if just for a moment, to take it all in. Last night while I was rocking Noah to sleep in the darkness of his nursery, I examined his tiny fingers. I thought about how they're not as tiny now as they were when he was born, and they won't be this tiny in a few more weeks. I often think about how these days and weeks will soon be gone forever, and I don't want to miss a second of it. I look at him everyday and see the most precious gift I've ever received. He is so amazing, and when I stop to think about everything we went through and how he came to be, it still blows my mind. He truly is a miracle in my eyes.