Tuesday, June 28, 2011

what's going on...

*16 weeks, 3 days*

I've been meaning to blog for awhile. I've in the 2nd trimester now, but I'm still chronically exhausted so using my brain and my hands to create a blog entry is generally the last thing I want to do. But here's an update on us:

Since my scary bleeding episode, everything's been fine. No spotting, nothing. Saw the OB again June 13th and baby's HB on doppler was in the high 150s. He said he'd see me again for a routine appt in 3 weeks (which is on July 5th, our 8th anniversary!), and then the following week, when I'm 18 weeks, he'll do the next ultrasound. THE ultrasound. So sometime the week of July 11th we will hopefully know if Baby #2 needs a boy name or a girl name. I truly do feel like it's a boy. Didn't have a feeling with Noah, but this time, I have a feeling. Aside from the weird hormone levels in the beginning, the random bleeding/low placenta, and my joints being slightly more inflamed this time around, this pregnancy has been pretty similar to my first. I'm know I'm kind of convincing myself it's a boy so that I'll be good with it. I know that sounds awful, but this was our last ditch IVF, and it would take the stars and moon aligning and a miracle from the heavens for us to have any more kids. I'd like to have a girl so I can have one of each, but at the end of the day, I will not be disappointed if it's a boy. Just want it to be full term and healthy.

Aside from that, we took the side rail off Noah's crib on the 12th, as the first step in the process of transitioning him to his new bedroom. He was realllly excited about it and thought it was so cool. He has gone to bed easily every night, though weekend naps can be a challenge. He always stays in bed, even in the morning after he wakes up, but doesn't always sleep for naps. The first morning, I found him across the room on the floor in front of his bookshelf. It was hilarious, because I opened the door and looked at the bed, then the floor next to the bed, but no Noah. Then there he was, next to the bookshelf. The second night, we heard him fall out of bed around 11:30pm. He landed safely on the body pillow I'd put next to the bed as a safety net, and he was still asleep! The third night, he finally stayed in bed. Since then, he's only fallen out of bed once, this past Saturday around 4am, and the body pillow was NOT next to the bed to break his fall. He woke up screaming and shaking, and it took sometime for Ben and I to calm him down. Poor kid.

Noah also took a gymnastics class - his first - for the last four Tuesdays, which ended today. My mother-in-law took him, and it kind of made me sad that I have to work and didn't get to see him in class, but glad he got to do it all the same. It was a pretty unstructured class, but he really seemed to enjoy many of the activities, most of all the trampoline. He told me tonight "i like the trampoline". We might have to sign him up again in the fall... but until then, he'll start a dance class in a few weeks. :)

I've been sick since last Wednesday. Last week, I thought it was just laryngitis, but on Friday night it turned into a head cold, sinus infection thing. The congestion and sinus pressure has been killer, but I'm pretty sure I had the same thing when I was pregnant with Noah too.

Other than that, things are pretty low key around here. Because of my lack of energy, almost nothing has gotten done around the house. We have til December, sure, but mama's a planner, and I want to get on these projects ASAP. When I have energy.

The other thing we have done is to start looking at cars. We are taking the plunge, selling my car, and buying an SUV. Granted, a small SUV, but still. The next step is to do a couple more test drives, compare all the specs, and make a decision. Which will not be easy because I feel like there's a lot riding on this. I've NEVER bought a car, let alone a new car. Ugh. So stressful.

Monday, June 6, 2011

1st OB u/s pic

I forgot to post this sooner - this is our u/s pic from our 1st OB appt on May 24th, when I was 11 weeks, 3 days.

unplanned four day vacation

*13 weeks, 2 days*

you'd think a four day weekend would usually be welcomed, but when you don't get to do anything fun or productive, it kind of sucks. i've been really good about taking it easy. i've spent most of the weekend on the couch, on the internet and watching TV, which gets real old, real fast. now i have a glimpse of how sh*tty bedrest is, and i've known people who've had to be on bedrest for months. i shouldn't be complaining about four days...

anyways, like i might have mentioned before, ben stayed home with me on friday, and was off work yesterday and today. on saturday, our friend's amy & mike offered to take noah for a few hours, and took him and their daughter anna to centennial beach pool in naperville. it was nice to have him doing something other than just sitting here staring at the TV with me, but it was weird being home alone on a saturday morning for the first time in, oh, about 32 months... my mom brought lunch on saturday around the time noah came home, and then she stayed til noah woke from his nap. the nurse didn't specifically say i couldn't life noah, but given she said not to carry groceries or laundry, my 34lb child is surely on that list...

i missed my dear friend anne's baby shower on saturday. i considered going, but i knew the right thing for me and baby to do was to stay home and do some online shopping instead... my sister graciously stepped up to help me out with some stuff that needed to be done for anne's shower, as i was in charge of decorations for the shower.

mid-day saturday, i developed a major headache that lasted several hours, and i also had mild cramps that kind of freaked me out, but didn't last very long. i have been working hard to drinks lots of water and eat lots of food, though i haven't been super interested in food so far with this pregnancy. this comes as a huge bummer...

my OB appt is today at 5:30 and i'm hoping (assuming) we'll have another ultrasound to double check the baby's still looking good, and hopefully get a visual on the placental issue. i'm assuming that since i'm not bleeding or cramping regularly, i'll be cleared to resume regular activity. i hope he lets me go back to work full time, because these two unplanned days off are torturing me. i only have so many days to take for maternity leave, and i hate having to use them now. :/ but i know i don't have a choice and i'm doing the right thing. wish us luck at our appointment today!

Friday, June 3, 2011

a big scare

*12 weeks, 6 days*

So let's recap the last few weeks of this pregnancy. I told my closest girlfriends I was pregnant right around 8 weeks, and my coworkers right around 9 weeks, and then went Facebook official. Around 10 weeks, my pants started fitting tight, and people started noticing in the last few weeks that my belly was becoming a BELLY.

On Tuesday May 24th, I had my first OB appt with Dr Carroll. We talked for a long time, probably close to an hour. (The joys of being the last appt of the day!) We talked a lot about VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), and I expressed my desire to make a VBAC the goal. My only condition with doing a VBAC is that I don't want to go past 39 weeks, since with a VBAC I can't be induced. If nothing's happening by 39 weeks, then c-section it is. No going til 41 weeks for me. And to that, I also requested we do a last u/s to confirm baby is head down, so I don't go along thinking VBAC when the baby is breech...

Anyway, fast foward to last night. Aside from the exhaustion and constipation, I'm feeling great. Starting to make the switch to maternity clothes. No vomiting, and nausea only a total of 3 or 4 times. No food or smell sensitivity, etc. Had a pretty average work day, ran some errands for a friend's baby shower after work, and got home just before 8:00.

I came in and sat down with Ben & Noah, who was eating dinner, for a few minutes, then got up to pee. And then I felt the all to familiar woosh that women feel at "that time of the month". But it's not "that time of the freaking month", i'm almost 13 weeks pregnant! But lo and behold, I pull down my pants and about fall over. Before I can pull up my pants (or pee for that matter), I stumble out of the bathroom, tell Ben I'm bleeding and we have to go to the hospital, and call my mom to say "I'm bleeding, need to go to the ER, come watch Noah". I was trembling. Poor Noah was upset and confused and asked why mommy was crying. I said something about how I was okay (don't mind the shaking and inability to stand), and within a minute it seemed my mom was here. I kissed Noah's head, and we drove the mile and a half to the hospital.

The ER visit went like this. Wait anxiously in the waiting room, in a wheelchair because I'm not sure I can walk. Try not to cry or freak out because it feels like it's taking FOR-FUCKING-EVER for them to take me in. Nurse takes me to triage, gets my vitals, asks a few questions. Phlebotomist, who according to Ben had a tic, comes in to draw what felt like a gallon of blood, and then wheels me back to a room. Nurse comes in, gives me a once over, checks my vitals again, and says she's going to start an IV and find the baby's HB on the doppler. I tell her I have to pee (remember, I got up to pee and didn't when this all started), so I do, and there's lots of blood. It was scary. Back to the room, get the IV (in my elbow, which I hate IVs there, though they are less painful to get), and the dumbass nurse tries to find the HB near my belly button, thinks she finds it and it's 104 which "is normal this early in pregnancy". Um, it's normal if I'm like 6 weeks, not 13. Anyways, we don't put much stock in this nurse.

So introducing Dr Douchebag. From the moment he walked in, we know he was a tool. Ben later said he was living out his "ER" (the TV show) fantasy at CDH. Dr D said he was more concerned about me than my baby at the moment (not quite those words, but close), and would do a pelvic exam and u/s. Great, a pelvic exam but an ER doc. Dream come true. No stirrups, no paper blanket to cover my girl parts, just the doctor, the nurse, and the tools. But he said my cervix looked normal and the exam was normal. He said that miscarriage is common in the first trimester (REALLY? NO SHIT.) and told us the u/s department was very busy and was running behind, so we might be waiting awhile. I'd been thinking the M word but it was the first time some one said it aloud. Bastard.

A half hour later the u/s tech comes to wheel me to the imagining area. She was a lovely lady. She told us that she couldn't tell us anything about the scan, and that the doctor would read it and let us know. This made me anxious. Shortly after she started the abdominal u/s, she said she did see the heartbeat and the baby was moving like crazy. That made me feel a million times better. Between the abdominal and vaginal ultrasounds, we were probably in there for 30 minutes.

After the u/s, a different nurse came back in to check my vitals and try again with the doppler. She seemed to catch it for a few beats, but we didn't mind. The u/s lady told us it was there.

A bit later and after supposedly talking to my OB, Dr Douche popped his head in and basically said - the u/s looks normal, so we're gonna send you home now, and well, you know the drill. I was like, HUH? What drill? I've never experienced bleeding during pregnancy so, no, I certainly do not know the drill.

He said to call the OBs office in the morning to follow up, and that there was no specific cause for the bleeding. He reminded us that miscarriage generally occurs in the first trimester, and they sent us packing with discharge paperwork that listed information about "threatened miscarriage". Great.

So needless to say, I slept very little last night for fear of increased bleeding, cramps, contractions, etc. I had already texted my boss late last night and gotten coworkers to cover today's mtgs so that was taken care of. Ben and I both stayed home with the intention of getting some sleep but I was up at 8:00 because sleeping was not working for me.

I called the OBs office shortly after 8:00 and got the answering service. Called shortly after 8:30, and got the receptionist, who said they normally don't bring people in for vaginal bleeding. (WHAT? Hello, did I fail to mention I'm 13 weeks pregnant?) I insisted, saying I had unanswered questions because the ER doc was a douche, er, didn't give us much information. Receptionist said the nurse would be in at 9:30 and she'd leave her a msg to call me.

9:30, 10:30, 11:00 rolls around, and she hasn't called. So I call. Sorry Alicia, I'm not sitting here, bleeding, waiting for your call. I explained to her that we did not have a great ER experience. The doctor gave us very little information, and I want to see the doctor to get questions answered and find out the cause of the bleeding. She puts me on hold. She took a look at my u/s and baby looks good. She's going to talk to the doctor and call me back, but tells me she's holding a 4:00 appt for me. Okay, good.

Ben takes Noah, who also didn't seem to sleep well last night, outside, while I try to snooze on the couch. At 1:30, my phone rings, and it's Alicia. She said they took a closer look at u/s, and it appears that I have a low lying placenta. "Is this the cause of the bleeding?" I ask. "Yes", she says. "Is there reason to be concerned, will it resolve, I think I had that with Noah, what do we do now", I state.

Basically, my placenta is attached too close to my cervix. She said that as the baby grows and the pregnancy progresses, the baby will pull the placenta up, thus moving it out of the "low lying" position. I read that 90% of low lying placentas will resolve in this manner. The remaining 10%? She says if it doesn't move as pregnancy progresses, I would not be able to delivery vaginally.

Okay, after this bleeding scare, to hell with VBAC. I want this baby full term and healthy, and that is all that matter.

So what now? I have a diagnosis and reason for the bleeding (sidenote: bleeding seems to be subsiding), and now my orders are to "chill" this weekend. (Her words.) No heavy lifting, no housework, no sex, etc. So Noah and I will have a baby sitter tomorrow so Ben can go back to work, and I will stay home on Monday until I see Dr Carroll and get the all clear to go back to work. I have an appt on at 5:30pm on Monday because it's all they had, though I asked to be on a cancellation list, if possible, to come in sooner. I also asked about the baby's heart rate on the u/s. She told me it was 158. Perfect.

So for now, I'm laying low (like my placenta), and being waited on. Poor Noah is napping now. My mom said he was very nervous after our abrupt departure last night, and was asking where we went, and then couldn't fall asleep until they snuggled up in our bed. Poor kid.